04 Feb Character Privilege

Perhaps some people really don’t know any better. Or maybe it’s more nuanced than that. Perhaps there is a large subsection of the population that never got a chance to see it up close. Maybe for these people it is just a concept. Maybe it’s like the abominable snowman. I could see how it could appear to be mythic. Even when you see it, the assumption is that it is a veneer, a farce, acting at its finest.

But then there are those of us who have seen it. We’ve witnessed its impact on real lives. We’ve seen what is possible. We understand how it can be present in its truest form. Some of us were even fortunate enough for some of it to rub off on us. The luckier of us still were taught how to be proficient in it which only further substantiated the model we saw. 

The idea I’m getting at here is a concept I’m calling “Character Privilege”. There are other types of privilege that are popular in the modern, western dialect. White privilege and male privilege are few of the most popular ones. Both of these concepts speak to the inherited benefits of being in a dominant demographic. 

The concept of Character Privilege is the assertion that some of us are born into situations where our primary caregiver demonstrated a high level of proficiency around lived virtues. 

In our formative years, we live in close proximity to our primary caregivers which gives an intimate look into the reality of their lives. It is at this distance that we get to witness the good and bad of what it means to be a human being. For those of us with Character Privilege, we were given examples of what proficient “human-ing” looks like on a day-to-day basis.

The word proficiency is key here because there are levels to it. There’s no arriving when it comes to proficiency. Proficiency is dynamic. It must be managed. It is directional. You are either becoming more proficient or you aren’t. To lack proficiency is human. As long as we are living, there will always be the potential to go to another level.

There are also varying levels to Character Privilege. Many people get to witness a family friend, community leader, mentor, sports coach, or other influential figure live out virtuous values. However, I’d consider this second-class privilege because of the difference in proximity between a primary caregiver and any of the roles mentioned above.

Second-class Character Privilege can still be extremely effective in setting a person up to build their own character. In fact, most of us have the opportunity to provide some second-class Character Privilege to someone else. 

One time I took my sister to a Moonchild concert in Atlanta for her birthday. I love this band’s music but what struck me most about this show was their intentionality around using their influence to support local black businesses in every city stop of their tour.. What makes this even more striking is that all of the core members of this band are white.

At this same show, the band took a moment mid-show to talk about racial injustice. During this segment, they introduced a concept that remains with me. They talked about the idea of “spending your privilege”. This was simply to say that we ought to leverage the privileges that we enjoy in order to benefit those who do not share the same privileges. Through donating to black-owned businesses, allowing them to sell merchandise in the lobby at their shows, and taking time to bring awareness to racial injustice, Moonchild modeled the concept of spending privilege in remarkably intentional ways. 

How does this concept relate to Character Privilege? I believe that we have the responsibility to maximize and leverage whatever level of Character Privilege we possess for the benefit of others. As we learn to model the virtues that comprise noble character, we are doing more than just creating a better life for ourselves. We are also giving other people the privilege to see what virtuous character looks like in the real world.

For all the parents and guardians out there, you have the unique opportunity to provide First-Class Character Privilege to the children in your care. That’s a responsibility to take seriously. Remember, proficiency is the goal here, not perfection. Proficiency is achievable. The concept of perfection in this realm is incompatible. 

So what are the takeaways from this writing. First, work on yourself. Learn what it means to be a more effective human being. Read something that might shed light on some areas of your character that you can work on. Perhaps you need more discipline. Maybe you struggle with telling the truth. Perhaps you are irresponsible. Maybe you are just plain mean. All of this can be changed because character is learned. The only way to have proficiency in it is to learn it and practice it. 

Secondly, give it away. Lean into relationships that will allow you to model good character for others who may not have had the privilege of seeing it up close. Humility might be the most important character trait to spend. Embracing the concept of proficiency in the realm of character reinforces humility because it acknowledges that you can never arrive. You will never have it completely figured out. There’s always room to grow. Admitting when you get things wrong (which includes embracing the possibility that you may be wrong even when you are convinced you are right), allowing others to tell you how you can improve, and asking for help are all practical ways to live out the virtue of humility.

I’ll leave you with a few questions. 

What do you think about the concept of Character Privilege? Who showed you what it looks like to be a good human? Who is looking to you as an example of good “human-ing”? Which aspects of your character are lacking in proficiency? What is your relationship with humility like?