09 Feb Public Journal :: 008 • The Vicious Cycle of Missing the Point

Maybe the most difficult responsibility each of us must navigate is that of clearly defining our definition of what is most important. Of equal importance (and perhaps equal difficulty) is the task of guarding that priority in a world that has a vested interest in making us forget it. 

This dilemma is why one of my favorite questions to ask people is: What is your definition of success? 

Sometimes this question comes in reference to a specific area of life. However, most often I love to ask this question as a macro analysis check-in. In these settings, I’m asking about the point of your life. I’m getting at the root of what motivates you. I’m trying to tap in to what you’re moving towards and what you reason is worth pouring your energy into.

This question of what defines success is likely the question I asked the most last year. The answers I got were all over the map. Each answer revealed important information about that person’s value system.

Maybe the most encouraging thing that came from asking the question is that for all of the people I asked from various backgrounds, ages, socio-economic statuses, education levels, etc… no one responded with the answer “I don’t know”. This data tells me that, by and large, we know that there’s a purpose to our existence. We’re all moving towards something. Asking this question so much made it clear to me that we all have varying degrees of clarity when it comes to awareness and definition of success. It also made it clear that very few of us are wandering completely aimlessly. I think true aimlessness is more difficult than it seems on the surface.

The title of this journal entry came from my good friend Matt Grubb. During a book club session a few weeks ago he dropped this phrase in reference to a person who was making bad decisions that were undermining important relationships. 

I haven’t been able to get this phrase out of my head.

Why?

Because, unless I’m careful, I’m just as prone to this vicious cycle as anyone else.

I’d love to write a follow up journal entry on strategies for avoiding this vicious cycle. For now, I think awareness is enough. The vicious cycle exists. We all drift from the point of our lives. We all lose touch with purpose. Perhaps the first and most important part of the strategy for protecting against this dynamic is owning the fact that it exists.

I’ll finish by hammering home this point: know your “why”. 

Make your “why” memorable, compelling, applicable, and productive. Surround yourself with people who know their “why”, actively commit themselves to both protecting and investing in it, and care enough about you to hold you accountable to yours.

This is what it means to live on purpose.

What is your definition of success? 

What is the mission-critical priority that must remain a priority in order for you to keep living on purpose?

What “point” is the world around you trying to get you to miss? 

Ooo… that last question is going in my questions journal 🙂