29 Dec Public Journal :: 003 :: “Surrender –  Part One”

Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned in the past year is the importance of practicing surrendering. 

More specifically, I mean the active decision to set aside my will—the area where my thoughts, opinions, feelings, and desires can run things— in order to defer to the will of God.

How does one know the will of God? I believe the best way to understand the will of God is to look at who Jesus was, how He lived, and what he taught was important. 

This year more than ever I realized that the best way for me to surrender is to manage the pace at which I move through life. The faster I’m moving the easier it is to be preoccupied with my own will. When I slow down and quiet down, I have a much better chance at not allowing my feelings, desires, and emotions to rule me. A slower and quieter pace leaves room for me to set my will down and embrace the will of God.

God, for so long I avoided this deference under the assumption that the point of following Jesus was to get my will to line up with Yours. I still think there is truth to this idea. However, the thing that I’ve learned to contend with more directly this year is that calibrating my will to Jesus’s happens through the moment-by-moment process of surrendering.  The fact is that I have to lay my will down because it isn’t always in alignment with what You want. It takes both humility and self-awareness to admit that my will is incongruent with Yours, these being qualities that I lack in one area or another. 

I have to admit that, in some areas, I do what you want when it happens to conveniently line up with what I want. This is the most common temptation for me. But I’m grateful that You’re developing a different level of awareness in me. I’m grateful that You’re patient with me as You apprentice me.

I also appreciate that, as Jon Ortberg put it, You designed the human will such that we can surrender an unlimited amount times per day without fatigue. It’s difficult to carry things around all day—this creates fatigue. But putting something heavy down is always relieving. 

God, You know there are so many burdens we can saddle ourselves with on any given day. I’m grateful that the multitude of things we can carry creates plenty of opportunities to practice surrendering. The more we practice, the more proficient we get. This is another beautiful design by You. I’m glad it applies to this area of surrender as well.

I’m glad that there is no area of life that You aren’t willing to run. This is the essence of Your kingdom coming. Because You respect our free will, You will rule whichever parts of my life that I let you rule. Those areas will necessarily improve when I lay my will down and let you run them. I know that this doesn’t mean sunshine and roses in every area all the time. But I do believe it means that I’ll be better off in the end when I choose to follow You in any and every area of my life.

This is why surrendering makes the most sense. Ultimately, I trust You to run my life because You are my loving Father. Your power and purview make You much more qualified to run my life than I am. Help me to be more aware of the areas where surrender is more difficult. Give me Your grace as I practice.